The Test

I have an off-the-wall theory.

If someone likes the poetry of both Bukowski and Addonizio, the chances are we will get along like a house on fire. If they like neither, we will get on but I will need to watch what I say.

If they like one and not the other then sooner or later I will become irritated by them. A man who likes Bukowski but not Addonizio may be comfortable with himself, but can’t really hack the reality of women. A woman who likes Addonizio but not Bukoswki may have the reverse trouble. Both are riven with double standards.

Both of the latter are likely to looking for the “perfect” partner (who does not, of course, exist).

Back when I used to do internet dating I got a message saying

Hey I read your profile and I think you’re perfect

I used to answer everyone (as it is rude not to), but in this case it was a straight up thanks but no thanks. I don’t need another woman storming off because she is disappointed I’m no better than she is. I think it was Milan Kundera who said…”There are two types of womaniser. Those that are looking for the perfect woman, and those that think all women they meet are perfect”.

My “test” is of course completely and utterly useless.

Hi. What do you think of the poetry of Bukowski and Addonizio?

…is not going to get me anywhere. Nuh-huh. Perhaps a better question would be

Do you prefer men to women, women to men, or are we all about as bad as each other?

The problem with that one is that you are not guaranteed to get an honest answer. Not many women will readily fess up to believing that women are superior, or vice versa. It’s a bit like “Are you materialistic?”, which 90% of people will answer “No” when they mean “Yes”. (Worse, when I say I’m not, they assume that I am really and am just saying that).

A new-ish female friend of mine recently said to me “Well a lot of women are twatty bitches”. I added that a lot of men are arrogant pricks. We get along just fine.

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