My autistic ten year old son recently entered the Radio 2 competition for short stories under 500 words written by children. He wrote it at my house and announced afterwards that he had “five good ideas but decided to use only one of them”. That’s my boy.
Once there was a skinny but tall butcher called Mr Pork and he sold the best meat in Farsley.
Although it was delicious one day no one came too buy any meat. When he looked out of the window he saw it. A new butchers had opened on the other side of the road and everybody was going too that one instead of his. He decided to go over there. “Hey!” he yelled, “What do you think you’re doing?!”
“I’m selling meat,” said the stranger who had a big grey beard “Hello, I’m Mr Chops.”
“And you’re also stealing my customers,” Mr Pork shouted. Suddenly Mr Pork threw a burger in Mr Chops’ face and dashed back to his shop.
“So that’s how it’s going to be is it!?” he asked angrily, “Well how do you like my sausages!?” Then Mr Chops threw a barrage of sausages at Mr Pork and he did exactly the same. Before you could say mess there was a huge pile of sausages on the road that was so big they had to close it.
“What about my meatballs,” Mr Pork yelled as he threw a tsunami of them at Mr Chops, and he did exactly the same. Before you could say bigger mess there was a massive pile of sausages and meatballs that was so tall they closed the sky.
“Let’s see how you like my salmon,” shouted Mr Chops as he…
Well you can guess what happened next.
Before you could say even bigger mess there was a monumental pile of sausages, meatballs and salmon that was so wide it looked like a mountain made of meat. When they were about to get their chicken a police officer yelled in an angry voice. “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?”
It was then that they had realized what they had done, so they walked over to him and said spontaneously “We’re so sorry, we’ve been such silly sausages.”
That night they had a giant barbecue to celebrate their new friendship. They both cooked all the meat they threw at each other and all the delicious meat you didn’t hear about in this story.
“I have an idea,” suggested Mr Pork “let’s do this every year,” and so they did.
On the other side of the country there were some men called Mr Red and Mr Lester and they were throwing cheddar cheese at each other. I wonder why.